I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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