this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
