oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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