She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
