Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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