I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
