we have officially lost it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
