Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
