Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
