Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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