She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
