yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
