Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
