Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
