I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just had sex on a roof
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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