well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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