I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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