Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
