we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
