Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Randomize
