Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
