how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
