While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
