she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
