I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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