i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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