Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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