He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
