You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
