We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
