How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
