Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
