God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
