apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
