Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
