We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
