you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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