If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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