I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
