she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
