I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
