idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just took my morning after pill in the library
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
