I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
