I wish i was in the wii world.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
