I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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