I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
