I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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