Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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