For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
