it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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