lets start a swedish sibling band together
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
