she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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