And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
